I am a leader in my community. I can often be seen juggling chainsaws, saving kittens from vicious dogs and writing novels in Swahili. People see me as the girl reading the entire set of encyclopedias and planting trees. I recycle everything. Occasionally I swim the English Channel in 3 hours. I impress people with my doctoral skills (I was an emergency surgeon at the age of 10), and my astounding ability to make the bagpipes sound beautiful. My soufflés never collapse. Using only my voice, I single-handedly saved the entire Amazon rainforest. Oprah comes to me for advice. I speak Latin fluently, read daily, and have actually watched all of War and Peace, without falling asleep. In my spare time, I build replicas of World War II tanks using only macaroni and a glue stick. The FBI and the KGB trust me. I jump, I spin, I create, and I win. Writing haikus with only 14 syllables isn’t difficult.
I’m a big deal
You see me and are impressed
Math is fun
I breed prize-winning labradoodles. I know the time from the position of the sun, what direction I’m facing from the stars and why the Earth is round. I have spoken to Leonardo da Vinci. Years ago I invented a time machine, but forgot to get it patented. I only write in purple ink. I have won pumpkin-carving contents in Salem, writing contests in Spain, and geography bees in Somalia. On my eleventh birthday, I got a letter from Hogwarts, but couldn’t make it to Platform 9 3/4 on time. I have read Hitler’s Mein Kampf. Yes, I have done all of those things, with ease, but I have yet
To find a college who will believe me.
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